The Best Guest: 5 Tips

By Lev Novak

1. Bring (More Than) What You Need

No, your host doesn’t have an iPhone charger. That isn’t their fault or their problem: its yours. Being a guest means having whatever you need with you, and depending on the charity of no-one.

That’s a good rule of thumb. But to be happiest as a guest, it’s a good idea to bring more than what you need. Especially if you’re traveling by car, or by any other method where a large heavy bag isn’t an inconvenience, you should take advantage of the extra space.

Some good things to bring as a guest that people forget are pajamas. You don’t *need* pajamas, of course: but think- if you had them, wouldn’t that be nice? There’s a mental block where guests always forget they can go beyond the bare necessities. Bring a sleeping bag and a towel- showers are cool. Bring a nice shirt and pants: if you feel like dressing up, it might be cool to have the option. Whatever you need, bring- that’s obvious. But you should also bring things you like. No one needs to bring a book but if you’re waiting two hours for your host to wake, you’ll be glad you brought it.

2. Know Why You’re There

If you’re a guest, you have to know why you’re there. Was it their idea to host you? In that case, you’re allowed to have higher expectations. Did you ask if you could “crash?” If so, you’re a crasher, not a full guest, and you have less “ownership” in your attendance.

Whatever brings you there is your focus: are you there for a friends birthday? That’s your priority- a healthy breakfast is not on the agenda. Are you there for a healthy breakfast? Why? That’s weird, but if so, you can expect that- just don’t count on your host having a party ready for you.

3. Be A Good Activity Friend

If your host wants to do something, you want to do it too. If they ask you what you want to do, don’t say “whatever.” Saying “whatever” puts the entertainment burden on the host. A better alternative to “whatever” is to have a few, different options. Say, for example, your host asks what you want to do on a Saturday night.

You could say. “I dunno. Whatever.”

Or you could say. “I’m down for anything. We could get drinks, or drink here. I could go out or watch some Netflix. I could eat too, but I’m not, like, hungry. Any of that sound good?”

The first one says whatever. The second one says down for whatever. Your host will be super appreciative, and they’ll pick from those options something that they like. If you’re truly down for those options, you’ll like it too.

4. Bring The Requirements

The requirements of a guest are the ABC’s.

A: A good attitude.

B: Bring a Gift

C: Contribute something.

To review: a good attitude is a smile and gratitude. Bringing what you need and like (such as your pajamas) will make you happy, and thus the host happy. It makes hosting you a pleasure.

Bringing a gift is absolutely necessary. You’re being hosted for a day or two, and your host is going out of their way. The good news is this gift is usually supposed to be alcohol. I recommend a good twelve-pack. The purpose is twofold. One, the gesture is awesome. Two: you just picked up a lot of beer you like. You get full credit for the gift, plus you get to enjoy it yourself. What’s not to love?

Contributing something is the last trick, and it’s important. A physical gift is good, but a favor needs to be met in kind. Offer to host them whenever. See if you can help them edit their script. Check on what you can do for them, and either do it or offer to do it. It’s a good thing to do anyway, and it helps keep friendships equal and healthy.

5. Thank Them

Do it in person, repeatedly, and then, when you get home, Tweet them. Do the public tweet, like “Thanks, @Pal and @Friend for hosting me this weekend! (Insert friendly joke!)

A tweet is way easier than a thank-you letter, and it serves a nice purpose. They remember you now with gratitude, and they feel as thankful to you as you do for them. Woo! Mutual gratitude!

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